giving our all
by gustin puckerman
Summary: No one was supposed to know she'd given birth to Captain America's son. ― Single Parent!Hill, Hill&Avengers, Hill&Rogers.


**Disclaimer**: Everything belongs to their rightful owner(s).  
**Pairings**: Developing Steve/Maria.  
**Word(s)**: 1,466.  
**Note**: THIS WAS MEANT AS A ONE-SHOT. I don't know what it is now. Enjoy it though.

**Inspired**: greatly by gif of a young boy (in black and white) saying, "I woke up and you weren't there."

* * *

**giving our all**

* * *

Maria didn't know what to do.

The secret was out. Not that she was exactly _keeping_ it (though of course she was), but _yes_, she did not choose to publicly announce it. There were a few people who knew about it ― Pepper being the first, but that was only because nothing ever really got past her. Approximately two years later, Tony found out about it. And then, there were the neighbors. But they were harmless as far as she could check out, which was pretty far, and she was in _Denmark_, for Christ's sake. She'd made _damn_ sure no one could link anything to anything.

No one was supposed to know she'd given birth to Captain America's son.

But here she was, frightened to her bones, trembling under the tough exterior she tried to so hard on building up since she'd gotten away from her father's monstrous grasp. She sat there, shivering under the single light in the kitchenette, on a stool, just staring at the bottle of wine that she didn't drink. Not even a drop.

She felt dizzy.

Nobody was supposed to know of the existence of Captain America's son, because it shouldn't have existed on the system. Even Rogers himself didn't know he had a son. And as far as she could tell, she could count on Pepper not to tell it to anybody, and that Pepper could make sure _Tony_ didn't tell it to anybody (though certainly when Stark first found out about it, he didn't immediately know it was _the_ son, not until he caught the boy's extreme asthma condition while he ran around the house and finally fit _all_ the missing puzzle pieces together). Even then Stark didn't say anything, just gave her a knowing look that confirmed for her that he indeed knew, but wouldn't say anything of it.

No one should have known. It was impossible.

When Maria was only in her seventh-week of pregnancy, Stark had her stationed in Denmark, another office of Stark Industries for her to handle, and she'd been more than happy to accept the job. There was no point in telling Rogers or anyone about the growing life inside of her, especially, since by that time, Rogers had recently made his relationship with Sharon Carter official. Their... _encounters_ which led her to where she was had meant nothing to him, and it had meant nothing to her too initially, and she intended to keep it that way, at least, for him.

Maria was okay with that, she really was, and that was why she never left Denmark.

Pepper, after finding out, did everything she could to help Maria with everything she needed, even keeping the secret from Tony, not that Maria asked her to of course, because it was never something they really talked about, but she honestly did appreciate it. When Tony found _out_, well, he just made it easier for her to stay even more permanently in the country.

Colton Phillip Hill was born an hour after midnight, and he was the most beautiful thing on earth.

He still was.

He had a tough time growing up though, spending at least the equivalent of a whole month a year in the hospital for his constant asthma attacks and weak muscles, which were some of Maria's worst days when it occurred, but he never ended up as something Maria could have regretted. Not even when she's in her worst moods. Colton was a strong kid, albeit not physically, but he was kind-hearted too, snappy yet smart, weak yet sneaky. He was everything Maria didn't deserve to have; he was her whole world.

And he was about to be ripped away from her.

Maria fisted her hand on the table just as the door creaked, and she snapped her attention at it, catching her breath in her throat. "Mommy?" A small voice squeaked, and even in the dark, Maria spotted the familiar yellowy-blond hair, smiling despite the grief of the situation she was in. "I woke up and you weren't there." He paused then, tilting his head to one side. "Why are you crying?"

Maria sniffled and rubbed her nose, shaking her head. "I'm not― I'm not crying, baby. I'm just tired."

"Mommy," He came paddling over to her then, taking one of her hands. "Let's just go to sleep, okay?"

Maria felt her heart flamed with overwhelming emotions as her thoughts ran over the fact that she might lose one of the best things that had ever happened to her, and she hugged him, combing her fingers through his long golden strands of hair and felt the soft structure of it as he began to fall back against her, just as he always did, since she held him the very first time he breathed the air of this world. "You're too good for me, do you know that?"

Sometimes, just _sometimes_, Maria wished Rogers would appear at the end of that hallway, looking at the both of them and knowing just what to say. But that was a dangerous dream Maria refrained from thinking about, because if Rogers started coming into the picture, well, she'll be easily screwed. That man was devoted, and kind, and loyal, and everything Maria wasn't. She'd either end up loving him too much to let him walk away, or wouldn't be able to see her own son, thinking that the young boy deserved so much better than she could ever offer as a parent.

Rogers was a forbidden subject.

"Mommy," he whispered against the nape of her neck as she carried him back to the couch, which was just a mountain of blankets and pillows tangling up together, and naturally squeezed themselves in between. "Please don't be sad."

"Colton," She started, licking her lips. "I―" He pulled away then, bright blue eyes blinking back against her greyish-blue ones, curious and sleepy and tired all at the same time. She traced her fingers over his forehead, slicking back a few strands of hair from falling down to his eyes, allowing herself to smile at the innocence he harbored behind his features, that she hadn't managed to destroy yet, "What do you think about America?"

"America?" He asked, his voice a squeak. "Isn't that where Uncle Tony and Aunt Pepper live?"

"Yes. Yes." She nodded, speaking in Danish. "We could live with them. We could―" _be safe_. Or at least, _you_ would. Maria smiled, but it was a tight-lipped one, pressing her mouth against his young temple. "―see them all the time. Would you like that?"

"I guess." He shrugged a shoulder, lying back against her as she began to hum a soft tune. "I miss Uncle Tony."

"I know you do, baby." She sighed, inhaling deeply.

"America sounds fun." She could feel him smiling against her shoulder, a tired grin. "Aunt Pepper always brings back so many pictures. I want to go see the tall buildings and ride boats."

"You should." She answered honestly, although knowing deep inside Colton couldn't stand being under the hot sun for more than a few hours, even more so if New York was as polluted as it was the last time she was there. "You should try everything out."

"You should come along too, mommy. We could look at _all_ the buildings together. It will be so fun, and Uncle Tony and Aunt Pepper could come along. We should do that, shouldn't we?"

"We should," she said, laughing now, because oh _God_, they should. Just to see him smiling wide and beaming, just to see him happy and being a normal, healthy child as he deserved to be, as he had the right to be. "You're so important to me, my little one. I love you."

"I love you too, mommy."

* * *

She thought about a lot of things when she finally decided to call― about the Avengers, the arrangements, security, _Rogers_. But watching her son asleep as he tangled himself in the blankets on the couch, Maria knew what had to be done. And whatever should come next would come. And she'll finish her job; she'll track this motherfucker down and put an end to his life if she has to. If it meant her whole world will stay intact. If it meant Colton will stay unharmed, keep his innocence for as long as he can, as long as the world will allow him to, and has him breathing, alive and well, and laughing. If it meant Maria won't lose him.

She will.

She picked up the phone.


End file.
